Wednesday, 04 June 2008

• The step mom label

  My second blog on this brand new site.  New site to me anyway.  I'm not sure why I even joined.  Partially because I love Xanga, have been on there for 7 years this July.  Partially because I am a step mom, as I mentioned in my previous blog.  But really, my step daughters are pretty much grown.  We don't have every day contact with the girls anymore.  I should correct that.  Eldest daughter calls her dad, oh, at least 4 or 5 times every day, so that is how she keeps in touch.  It's nice, but I know he needs more.  Misses her. 

  She's living in California now.  Trying that out for size.  We haven't seen her in over 2 months.  She's coming in for a wedding this week, so Saturday we'll all meet up.  Youngest daughter just graduated from high school.  She's already out of her mother's house and living on her own with her boyfriend and room mates.  Would like to see more of her, but I know how it is when you are first on your own.  Everything is exciting and fun, and hanging with your dad and step mom is not high on the list of priorities.  LOL. 

  So anyway, back to my point.  I still am not sure I belong on this 'mom' site, because I'm not really.  Not anymore.  Or not even was before.  Just kind of hanging in the background, caring for my guy, caring for his daughters.  It's been a rough road up to this point of relative peace between us all.  I've been to step mom 'h-e-double hockey sticks' these past 8 years, but hopefully all is settled down now.  We're all chill. 

  My salvation was to just 'divorce' myself from the whole ex-wife, daughter, dad, situation.  Let him deal with the crap.  It was his baggage, after all.  As with most women who find themselves in a step family situation, I tried to fix things, to help promote peace within the warring factions.  LOL.  It wasn't very successful.  Or appreciated.  Step moms are the scape goat for all the wrongs that went on before you even entered the picture. 

  Good news is, I'm still here 8 years later.  Wiser, for sure.  Proud of my step daughters and what they have accomplished.  Still have to walk on eggshells when dealing with his ex, but that doesn't happen often.  It's an odd dynamic.  You really have to be strong, determined and stubborn to last it out.  Love isn't always a strong enough bond when faced with step family issues. 

  I'm happy with my life right now, looking forward to the future and upcoming changes.  Taking it one day at a time.  Hey!  Isn't that a TV show?   

  Have a lovely evening, momarooskis!

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